But That's Not What I Planned

I want to share one of those lessons that I learned on the long road, but let me assure you that the sooner you learn it, the better. Especially if you're a military family and live with a lot of separation or your spouses' job requires a lot of travel.
When we were newly married we spent our first 6 months together and then at the end of that 6 months my husband had to go on his first sea duty det (detachment that was on an aircraft carrier) for 6 months! I got to spend my 1st (yes first!) wedding anniversary without my husband! Needless to say, I did not handle it well, instead of having that joy that you expect on that first anniversary it was a very depressing day for me. Of course we talked on the phone that day but that could not compensate for the separation.
The point I wish to share with you is that yes, we all have ideas and dreams of how we think our marriage and family life is going to be. It is good to have dreams and to expect that you will have respect, love, etc. but do not set yourself up for disappointment with the unrealistic expectations that all your dreams and plans will become reality. When I had dreams of being married it did not, of course, include spending my 1st anniversary without my husband. Jobs, unexpected situations, just life in general will come along and you will have unexpected choices to make. The sooner you learn to be flexible and to adapt and work around the situation instead of being unwilling to bend, the quicker it can be resolved. This will save you much stress over trying to force something to happen a certain way. I have learned that by being adaptable and willing to accept something different from what I planned sometimes even turns out to be better!

Be Willing To Bend,
Rhonda