Life's Uncertain Eat Dessert First!

I had a t-shirt many years ago with the Garfield character on it with him sitting in front of a large cake with that saying above his head. I was hooked on Garfield comics for many years and found "his" outlook quite entertaining.
That line came back to my memory over the weekend when my husband and I went to see one of his favorite aunts that suffered a severe stroke just 4 days before Christmas last year.
While we were there even though it appeared that she was answering our questions and acted as if she knew us, it became apparent that all is not as it seems. When my sister-in-law asked her if she knew what her name is, she looked confused and could not answer. My husband's aunt has always been so full of life and we have hilarious quotes in our family that we use all the time that we got from her. It has been so hard to see her in her current state and not knowing to what degree she will recover.
I spoke with her the Saturday before Christmas and she had her stroke the next day, early Sunday morning. Little did I know that would be, at least for now, the last true conversation I would have with her.
I post all of this to say, we do not know what tomorrow holds. Of course we are to conduct ourselves with discipline and some structure but we need to remember that life truly is uncertain and that we do need to "Stop and smell the roses." Through this last visit we had with her it soberly reminded me that because life is uncertain, on occasion, eat dessert first! (Which by the way, she loves!:)

For You Aunt Caroline!

Rhonda

But That's Not What I Planned

I want to share one of those lessons that I learned on the long road, but let me assure you that the sooner you learn it, the better. Especially if you're a military family and live with a lot of separation or your spouses' job requires a lot of travel.
When we were newly married we spent our first 6 months together and then at the end of that 6 months my husband had to go on his first sea duty det (detachment that was on an aircraft carrier) for 6 months! I got to spend my 1st (yes first!) wedding anniversary without my husband! Needless to say, I did not handle it well, instead of having that joy that you expect on that first anniversary it was a very depressing day for me. Of course we talked on the phone that day but that could not compensate for the separation.
The point I wish to share with you is that yes, we all have ideas and dreams of how we think our marriage and family life is going to be. It is good to have dreams and to expect that you will have respect, love, etc. but do not set yourself up for disappointment with the unrealistic expectations that all your dreams and plans will become reality. When I had dreams of being married it did not, of course, include spending my 1st anniversary without my husband. Jobs, unexpected situations, just life in general will come along and you will have unexpected choices to make. The sooner you learn to be flexible and to adapt and work around the situation instead of being unwilling to bend, the quicker it can be resolved. This will save you much stress over trying to force something to happen a certain way. I have learned that by being adaptable and willing to accept something different from what I planned sometimes even turns out to be better!

Be Willing To Bend,
Rhonda

How Do You Live Your Dash?

In writing this blog I hope to remind others and myself about the importance of slowing down in the rat race world we live in. Time truly does fly and it's so important to remember that the people in our lives are the most important part of our lives.
Several years ago at a one day conference for women I was given a pamphlet that has the following short story on it. It has been a constant reminder to me of how short life really is and helps me to keep things in balance (at least most of the time :) I hope it will do the same for you.

How Do You Live Your Dash?
I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone as being from the beginning..to the end. He noted that first came her date of birth, the beginning, and spoke of the date with tears, then of the second date, sadly the end but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years. For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth..and only those who loved her know what that little line is worth. For it matters not how much we own; cars, house, cash. What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash. So think long and hard, are there things you'd like to change? For you never know how much time is left that can still be rearranged.
Slow down enough to consider what's true and real. Be less quick to anger and love the people in our lives like we've never done before. Treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile...Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while. So, when your eulogy's being read, with your life's actions to rehash, would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?