The Military In The Man

I should also add to that title the military in the woman:)
My husband and I will be reaching the 31 years of marriage mark in June of this year and a total of 33 years of knowing each other. The one thing that still amazes me is how much of the military is still in him even after being retired for a decade. If you are not familiar with military life it is very regimented and there are no gray areas. Everything is cut and dry, you do something when you are told with no questions asked. Strict discipline everyday is the norm. For this current generation of young people I know this is a foreign a concept for the majority of them. This mindset is an asset and can be a detriment at the same time.

Most people that spend at least 2 enlistments in the military will have the military mindset in them for the rest of their lives. They are excellent workers, they work hard, will work over, will do work that others won't, etc. On the other hand though is the effect it can have on family life. Many military marriages do not survive because of the stress of the jobs involved, separations due to sea duty, overseas duty without their family, and the stringent mindset that is developed in them from the military environment. It is hard for them to have the strictness and discipline of military life in the daily work they are required to do and then just turn that off when they walk into the door of their home with their family.

If you are newly married to someone in the military or you are the one in the military please realize this forming and molding into the military mindset is, and truly will be a part of the rest of your life. Please take heed from a "Salty Dog's" wife to keep this in mind when differences come up in child rearing, decision making and other aspects of your life together. This mindset develops a different point of view like no other influence in your life will. Make a strong effort to remember that your family is your family and not your squadron, platoon, etc. Do not expect your family to behave like military personnel, you are in the military, not them (at least for most military marriages there is only one in the military).

It is my plan to share the lessons I learned about the uniqueness of military life as God puts on my heart to do so. It is my hope that my own experiences will help others (military and non military) learn to work better together as a couple or family and even those that may just work with an active duty or retired military person.

Salute!

Rhonda